... And life falls apart

So, today I had a hard day. And it is the cherry, it seems, on top of everything building and today it all tumbled down inside me. I feel like a failure. In my work, in life, in everything. I have such high expectations and so many things- ok let's face it: I want to be involved in everything. I have a hard time saying "no". I don't like being on the outside when it's something I care about. I sometimes, I care too much. But all I really need to care about is God. My service for Him, my devotion to Him, my heart- these should be my main concerns of life.

I care about people. I want to do my best with the children in my care. I want to build relationships with the youth and be available to them and a good example. I want to be a good friend, sister, wife, pastor's wife (and what that role brings). I want to be a good steward of my car, my house, my body and all the things I have. I want to have extra time just for me and time for fun things. I want to give. Too much. And because I spread myself out so thin (which I don't realize I'm doing), then I start to feel the pressure from all sides.

I would like to have time to read for fun and to organize photos. Why do people today need to be so crazy busy that they start a million things and never finish one! No wonder I hate deadlines! Pressure! PRESSURE! Ahhhhh!

Maybe tomorrow, it'll all be back in a proper view, but today, tonight it is all askew.

Good day, bad day

Do you ever notice that when you have a bad day, something small or large always occurs that makes you a little thankful and in the end you can actually say that it was in some ways, a good day.  Today was like that.  

Yesterday Drake left for his Youth Pastor's retreat for 3 days and (completely unrelated) I felt like I was starting to get sick. Well,  after I fell asleep with the absence of my usual cuddle, I woke up at 3am with a sore throat and completely dry mouth, not to mention a really stuffy nose.  I downed some water I had by my bed and went back to sleep. 

 Then again at 6 am I actually got up and ran myself a bath.  It helped and I fell asleep on and off in there until about 7:30 and then went back to bed until 9.  This is when I slept through my alarm and phoned work right as I was supposed to be there to let them know I'd be late, but God granted me the day off and I got to stay home.  :) First blessing.

Then I had a lunch date planned with a lady from church and we still met and had a good conversation.  But in the middle of it, an older man walked up to me and handed me this picture he drew of me while I had been sitting there.  Cool!  A little weird, but cool.

  So here it is and an actual pic of what I looked like today so

 you can compare (since the sketch looks like a guy and not female) LOL.  Also, after Kathryn and I finished our "date", she even took me to her house to get some salt for the sidewalk outside (since it's completely sheer ice!).  What a blessing too!  

I went home and read some OT Bible and then had a nap (I was feeling quite tired by now) and when I got up, I had supper and was able to Skype with my sis Candis in Singapore.  :)  All in all, an ok day.

Daycare War Wounds!

So early December I realized just how DANGEROUS it is to work in a daycare!  Haha  Those little suckers have small but sharp little teeth.  I received this bite while intervening in a situation between a one and a two year old.  Well, at lest the other child didn't get bit and at least it didn't break the skin.  It went away in a matter of days, so no harm done!  :)

(And for your reassurance, when the offending child realized what they did- biting a teacher instead of another child, they looked pretty scared and knew it was wrong right away.  Lesson learned)