So, my little world view says life is good when life is easy. I love life to go smoothly. I pray for that , in fact. But lately, to no avail. I have decided that the big bang theory works in my own life. One minute eveything is chocoate cake and great, and the next, my entire miniscule universe is spinning out of control! I hate change! I have just come face to face with that monster in the dressing room, and for me, that's a very big deal! Currently life has been, should we say, a little upside down and I feel completely overwhelmed! "Oh, so wait. God, you mean I'm not in control? What?!" And I laugh in my frustration and ignorance and I want to cry about this wretched, helpless state.
Recently, as many of you know, Drake and I moved. This, I thought, would be great, and I was excited to be living with friends from church and it would be..... chocolate cake!
There was no cake in their kitchen. In fact, I got so frustrated one day that I cried because I couldn't find the stupid can opener!!! Yes, you can laugh. But it bothered me that I didn't know. (We all know that we all know everything, I know) BIG BANG! The realization that I don't know anything and have little control over many things began to sink in as I deal with my monster called change. Adapting at will is one thing, but forced change is quite another. And as you all know, people are stubborn. "God, are you trying to tell me something?" Kinda reminds me of the Isrealites...
So, I admit my faults, and with my husband's wonderful grace and patience, I am learning to like lumpy cake. It's not so bad at all! And through talking with my good friend Crys, God has helped me to realize that the hard times are the most important times. It's like a crisis- the more He can teach and the more I learn. When things are easy and smooth, you take things for granted, you pray less, you think you are in control! Here's what the moral of the story is:
Hard times almost always reveal one's own personal character. And change comes with time, but for me, first it comes with a big bang!
11 comments:
Carmy! I'm so excited that you have a blog! I can't even tell you how much I miss sharing all our thoughts and reflections like these... of course, now you are sharing with a much bigger audience... and probably not at 2am! I LOVE YOU!
Thanks Char! I am excited too! but not sure why... I also miss you, but I visit your blog, and am happy that I can keep up on your life (even if I don't always comment.) Yes, now I will expose myself to many, but you will still be my # one soul sharer- even at 2am! I LOVE YOU!
My dear Carmen...
Ah yes, change. I feel I can relate. Moving to Montreal, a city I have never been with, being roomates with people I have never met, not having the "ducks lined up" really before I came, working in a job that I have never done before. lol.... but like you said, God is in control. If He calls us to these situations, He will ultimately supply our every need. You guys will do great! I miss you guys and look forward to being at Briercrest the same time!
Blessings!
Me too! Can't wait to get back there (not that it'll be chocolate cake either). I think it's safe to say that we'll have some good times, and some good talks, I'm sure. God bless you David in Montreal!
I MISS YOU TOO DAVID!
TheDrake
Carmen,
I'm glad you shared your address in church so now I can really get to know you. :-) I must admit that the discovery that I was not in control after all was one of the toughest for me. Being military it was one I learned early, though I am still learning it every day. (If those career managers only knew that they work for God. tee hee)
Next time you can't find the can opener you know you can just pop down the street and borrow mine. :-)
Heather
Thanks Heather! I may do that someday... I think God teaches us that we are not in control many many times in our lives, but some times are much more extreme than others. The sad part is, it does,'t just take one time and we get it. We have to keep remembering and relearning throughout our lives. Just like many other lessons God wants to teach us. And it's ok to be frustrated and then give it to God. That's what He wants anyways!
Hello Farm girl I found you at last, I didn't realize the move was hard on you I wasn't thinking, how has it been since
I'm happy you found it! Have a great time catching up with everything I've babbled about since! Haha. It's great to have your input. God bless!
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