... And life falls apart

So, today I had a hard day. And it is the cherry, it seems, on top of everything building and today it all tumbled down inside me. I feel like a failure. In my work, in life, in everything. I have such high expectations and so many things- ok let's face it: I want to be involved in everything. I have a hard time saying "no". I don't like being on the outside when it's something I care about. I sometimes, I care too much. But all I really need to care about is God. My service for Him, my devotion to Him, my heart- these should be my main concerns of life.

I care about people. I want to do my best with the children in my care. I want to build relationships with the youth and be available to them and a good example. I want to be a good friend, sister, wife, pastor's wife (and what that role brings). I want to be a good steward of my car, my house, my body and all the things I have. I want to have extra time just for me and time for fun things. I want to give. Too much. And because I spread myself out so thin (which I don't realize I'm doing), then I start to feel the pressure from all sides.

I would like to have time to read for fun and to organize photos. Why do people today need to be so crazy busy that they start a million things and never finish one! No wonder I hate deadlines! Pressure! PRESSURE! Ahhhhh!

Maybe tomorrow, it'll all be back in a proper view, but today, tonight it is all askew.